I hate the man i love.

99% of the time, i don't know what or who is wrong. All i know or atleast feel is that i am trying to communicate what's inside me whether it's wrong or not. To say that it's right, im not getting any good thing out of it or feel heard and understood. To say it's wrong, i don't see which part is. I consciously study every feeling i feel deep to identify if it's just me or an actual thing. And i don't see the wrong part. So the question is who or what is wrong? And if it's not me why can't they show themselves and take responsibility for their action instead of making me look the bad guy and the villain. What's wrong with everyone?? Why can't they just fucking admit that they are doing you bad and you are feeling this way because of the way they are treating you?? Why in the world with someone make you feel sad and blame you for not smiling??? i just don't get it!!!!!!!!! And here i am beating myself up for some idiot diabolic motherfuckers fault because someone has to own it. And when the doer doesn't, you will be forced to do it. That's how things are going these days. Getting blamed and accused for you feelings which are clearly caused by that one selfish person. Ohhh i hate them for this i hate them and i will always will!!!!