A mosaic of fictional lives
A nostalgic girl giving you a glimpse of how 2000s movies became the core of who she is today. ;)
Today was the day I finally opened the letter I had written to myself a decade ago. Ten years huh…Eleven year old me thought a decade was a hundred lifetimes away. Now, time seems to slip as I get ready for my daily commute to take a course for a major I’m not even sure I like.
As I opened the letter, I was hit with a brutal wave of nostalgia, my old handwriting with eager curves that reminded me of the time I so desperately sought validation from my parents, the corners of the paper decorated with doodles taking me back to the time where I once had a passion for drawing and, the letter itself filled with empty spaces where my dreams used to flourish. I had outlined the women I wanted to become by the age of 21, drawing inspiration from the iconic girlies of the 2000s chick flick movies I still dearly love. She was to be “the cool magazine editor” (that had an internship at least by now), taking the aspirations of Andy Anderson from “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days”, Andy Sachs from “The Devil Wears Prada”, and Jenna rink from “13 going on 30”.
In my mind like these women, she embodied endless potential, hidden from the world until she was ready to shine. I had always admired the “girl next door” persona, finding comfort in its approachability. Yet, these characters evolved into so much more than just nice girls; they had depth and complexity, layered personalities waiting to be revealed. I found it refreshing that they weren’t depicted as “manic pixie dream girls” where their sole purpose was to exist for the betterment of a man. They had their dreams, goals, and purpose that seemed to inspire me. Andy Anderson’s ambitious spirit that taught me to go to lengths for a job you love, Andy Sachs’s resilient character that never seemed to quit, despite so clearly not fitting in a new career and her power to overturn that, and Jenna Rink’s childlike nature that naturally flowed into her job and led her to flourish in her it. As a child, I watched in awe as these girls transformed into women, daydreaming of stepping into their shoes one day.
Now as I read my 11-year- old self’s words through the lens of a 21-year-old, I can’t help but wonder; did I let that little girldown, or did I make her proud? Have I embraced the passion, creativity, and childlike wonder that defined the characters I loved, allowing them to shape the core of who I am today? The truth is I’m still figuring it out. I would like to think that going through life I do see traces of my younger self in the woman I am today. The rose-colored lenses through which I saw the world might have dulled throughout the years but the life of these and so many other women has allowed me to keep my childlike undying spirit even when these lenses seem to turn gray. I am reminded of the girl who once had idols she desperately looked up to and now are imbedded in to the fabric of her soul. After all, we are a mosaic of all the people we have loved and admired.
