The Tide, The helm and The Morrow
You don’t really find yourself, but rather someone from the past who knows who you are.
Today was the day I finally opened the letter I had written to myself ten years ago. I had found it on that old shelf, buried under all the junk that kept piling up as the years went by. The moment I held it in my hand, I felt a pang of longing for the past. It was an old envelope yellowing with age, red and blue markings running around it. A bold, unapologetic capital letters that read, “TO MY FUTURE SELF, OPEN IN 2024” were written on it.
I took a deep breath as the remnant of time wafted in. I opened the envelope, bracing myself to enter memory lane. The letter itself was on a flimsy paper, torn from one of those blue notebooks. I looked down at now unfamiliar handwriting－too careful and careless at the same time; nevertheless exuberant in nature.
“Dear future me,” it read. “I’m writing to you at the dawn of entering high school, sitting at my uncomfortable yet familiar desk in class as students keep milling about at recess. This was an assignment given to us for English class. I never thought about writing to myself in the future－to you. It feels strange, very strange but I like the idea. So here goes.
“I hope this letter finds you well and that the future is treating you generously. I wonder if you have started your tours of the world, gone on amazing expeditions: trekking along the Isle of Skye, paragliding in Salzburg, or if you have participated in Guzzo Adwa yet. I also wonder if you have visited the many wonders the Land of Origins has to offer. Have you started crossing off the things you wanted to achieve? If you have, the thought alone makes me very happy.”
I felt a tinge of remorse for not living up to the hopes and dreams of my younger self. All the dreams pushed off, rescheduled to be achieved when I have 'figured out' life.
“But,” the letter continues, “if you haven’t done any of those, that is okay too. You can always start with what you can achieve today. You know what Oogway said: Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, but Today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.”
I smile at that. I can almost hear my younger voice, tinged with humor, echoing in the back of my mind. The letter continues, telling me stories of high school triumphs and woes. I reminisce with every word, trying to remember myself ten years ago: finally thinking I had grown up because I had just started sitting at the grown ups' table. But the reality had been far from it. I had been scrawny, too short, too shy, and introverted to mingle at the table. Yet, I had been my best self back then. Recently, I had felt like life was spiraling out of control in a crazy circle, I, neither a captain nor a comfortable passenger on the beautiful voyage.
“You got this!” The sentence sent a jolt through me. “Life will continue to get complicated; you might make a few wrong detours, but that is okay too. Always find your safe harbor; trust God will guide you through the tide.”
I read on, hanging on every single word the letter had to offer. “Do you still enjoy writing? Do you still find solace in leaving remnants of yourself on pages?” My eyes instinctively moved to the computer that was on my desk next to the shelf. "Please tell me you have kept at it, wrote more amazing pieces to share with the world."
I remembered the passion I had for writing, the zeal, the excitement to talk about it. Every idea was an inspiration, ready to be woven into an amazing story. Now I realize, I have stopped giving myself a chance to think about any of it. I miss writing.
The letter ended with a simple message that resonated deeply within me, “Never stop dreaming. Hope and wonder. Keep your inner child alive. Keep me alive, would you?”
I folded the paper and put it back in the envelope, filled with fervor I thought I had lost. I didn't just owe it to the present me to keep the fire alive; I also owed it to myself from a decade ago. I reached for my computer, powered it on , and opened a Word document to start my today.
Ten years in, it was a letter from a dreamer that reminded me the helm of life was right in my hands. And I was eager to discover where the tide would lead me.
